freakingphoenix

Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritations and resentments slip away and a sunny spirit takes their place.

- Mark Twain (1835 - 1910)

Posted 3 years ago

humor, resentments, quote, funny, mark, twain, tumblr,

There are so many NO’s!!!!

NO!!!!

-I know it’s old, but that doesn’t make this a NO any less!

Posted 3 years ago

david hasselhoff, jump in my car, music video, funny, tumblr,

This is too funny to keep from Tumblr

Posted 3 years ago

1 note

linda belle, pear, funny, tumblr,

Yes. Please.

Posted 3 years ago

do me lamp, engrish, funny, tumblr,

I Can Has A Funny?

Posted 3 years ago

engrish, english, funny, cheezburger, icanhascheezburger, lolz, lol, tumblr,

Um… i feel the kitteh’s pain

Posted 3 years ago

lol cat, funny, icanhas, icanhascheezburger, tumblr,

Is this a new sort of water-boarding…?

Posted 3 years ago

agnesaviiki:

(via): haha!

Maybe one day soon…

Posted 3 years ago

humor, comic, funny, quote, tumblr, chicken,

Three friends — two straight guys and a gay guy — and their significant others were on a cruise. A tidal wave came up and swamped the ship; they all drowned, and next thing you know, they’re standing before St. Peter.

First came one of the straight guys and his wife. St. Peter shook his head sadly. “I can’t let you in. You loved money too much. You loved it so much, you even married a woman named Penny.”

Then came the second straight guy. “Sorry, can’t let you in, either. You loved food too much. You loved to eat so much, you even married a woman named Candy!”

The gay guy turned to his boyfriend and whispered nervously, “It doesn’t look good, Dick.”

Posted 3 years ago

5 notes

gay, joke, funny,

Construction Workers

Construction worker on the 5th floor of a building needed a handsaw. So he spots another worker on the ground floor and yells down to him, but he can’t hear him. So the worker on the 5th floor tries sign language. He pointed to his eye meaning “I”, pointed to his knee meaning “need”, then moved his hand back and forth in a hand saw motion. The man on the ground floor nods his head, pulls down his pants, whips out his chop and starts masturbating. The worker on 5th floor gets so pissed off he runs down to the ground floor and says, “What the fuck is your problem!!! I said I needed a hand saw!”. The other guy says, “I knew that! I was just trying to tell you - I’m coming!”

Posted 3 years ago

jokes, gay, funny,